Katekyo Hitman RUKIA English Version
by koukacs
Summary: Parody of Katekyo Hitman REBORN using BLEACH characters. The world's greatest hitman comes to Japan to train Kurosaki Ichigo to be the Tenth Boss of the Mafia family Vongola.


Bleach and Katekyo Hitman REBORN do not belong to me. This parody is for entertainment purposes.

**Target 1: That woman from Italy**

Kurosaki Ichigo was a normal guy with bad grades in school. This was not his fault, since, because of bullies, he lost too much time fighting, running out of time to study. He was not going well in physical education either, because, due to fights that he always got himself into, he was often injured. Because of these failures, Ichigo was nicknamed "no-good-Ichigo," but he did not know it, since nobody had the courage to call the guy who used to beat all the school's bullies a "no-good."

One day, Ichigo came home early and found his father in the living-room, talking to a young woman that the boy did not know. She had spiky black hair, very beautiful violet eyes and was dressed in a suit with a black hat on the head, in whose tab there was a tiny white rabbit. Holding a cup of steaming coffee, the young woman turned her face to the newcomer and greeted him:

"Ciaossu!"

Seeing the completely awe face Ichigo had, his father, Ishin, who was drinking coffee too, decided to explain who the girl was.

"Ichigo, this charming young woman will be your home tutor, isin't this great?"

"What do you mean by being my tutor?" Ichigo asked enraged, "This little thing must be my age!"

A shadow passed over the girl's face. She put the coffee cup on the table before her, stood up and glared at Ichigo with a menacing look, separated from him by a few feet of distance. Before Ichigo could understand what was happening, the young woman had jumped and given him a flying kick in the face, making the boy hit the wall. Then, she grabbed the unconscious Ichigo by the collar and went with him to the bedroom, where she laid him in the bed. She then sat up in bed next to him and waited for the young man to wake up. Five minutes later, he would wake up:

"Oh, what a pain, what a bizarre dream." He mumbled, opening his eyes. Seeing the beautiful young woman sitting on his bed, staring at him, Ichigo went suddenly very nervous.

"What are you doing in my bed?"

"Wow, what a shy student you are." She laughed, which for some reason, made Ichigo look at the floor while scratching his head. The young woman decided to introduce herself:

"I'm Luccia, I'm here at the behest of the Vongola Famiglia."

"Rukia?" Ichigo tried to repeat the name, but could not do it properly because of his Japanese accent. Luccia continued with her presentation:

"I was sent by the ninth head of the Vongola Famiglia to be your tutor."

"Wait a minute! I don't know anything about this Vongola or whatever, but I will not accept being taught by a girl of my age!"

The punch that Ichigo received from Luccia knocked him out of the bed, the girl was trembling in anger.

"How dare you? Don't you know who I am? I'm the best hitman and tutor in the world!"

"Bwahahahaha." Ichigo laughed. "You're a hitman? Give me a break!"

Annoyed, Luccia grabbed the mini-rabbit that was in her hat and turned it into a white gun, for Ichigo's shock. The girl pointed the gun at him.

"Are you tired of laughing? I'll continue my explanation, then." She said with an evil smile. "My mission is to train you, Kurosaki Ichigo, to be the next head of the Vongola Famiglia."

"Head?" Ichigo asked in surprise. "Is this Vongola a company?"

"Well, let's say that it deals with a vast line of business and has many customers."

"Wait, why would anyone come to Japan to call a student to lead a company?" Ichigo asked in suspicion.

"The point is that you are the only one in the line of succession. You are a descendant of the founder of the Vongola, Vongola Primo. So I had to come from Italy for you."

"I am the only one in the line of succession? How can this be?"

"In fact there were three other successors in potential, but one of them was gunned down, the other beaten to death and the third was found at the bottom of a river." Luccia commented casually. Ichigo had a bad feeling.

_There is something wrong in this story.__A paid assassin from Italy wants to train me to lead a company and the other potential successors died horrible deaths._

"Hey, Rukia."

"Yes?"

"Does Vongola deal with illegal things?"

"Ha ha, compared to the other Mafia families Vongola is very light."

Ichigo's eyes almost come out of orbit after hearing that. _I __HAVE A MAFIA GIRL IN MY ROOM, IN MY BED, AND SHE WANTS ME TO BE A MAFIA BOSS?_ He yelled in thought. Feeling threatened, the boy came up with the best plan he could to get out of that room and call the police:

"Errr, I need to go. Wait for me here, okay, killer-san?" Ichigo said, getting up and trying hard to hide his deep state of panic, without success. Luccia, who was still pointing the gun at him, sitting up in bed, gave him an evil grin and asked:

"Do you think I'm stupid?"

And then she gave a shot in Ichigo's head. After Ichigo fell to the ground, Luccia, proudly, began to speak again:

"Do not worry, I shot a dying will bullet. If you have a regret, the bullet will make you reborn to fulfill it. Hey, you're taking too long to revive. You… had a regret, right?" Luccia was suddenly worried. However, an orange flame began to glow on Ichigo's forehead and he stood up in one leap. Flames went through his body and burned his clothes, leaving him only in his black underwear. Luccia had to cover her nose after seeing him in that minimum costume.

"REBORN!" Ichigo shouted.  
><em>What was his dying wish?<em>_To confess his love to someone, maybe?__For some reason I don't like this possibility.__What is this heat that I'm feeling by seeing him only in his underwear?_

Ichigo took a deep breath and yelled:

"I'LL EAT CHOCOLATE AS IF I WERE TO DIE!"

_That is his dying wish?_ Luccia wondered, stupefied, watching Ichigo jumping out the window and running into the city in search of chocolate. _He will end up being arrested for indecent exposure, I should do something...__after I stop this strange bleeding coming from my nose._


End file.
